Fireworks Are Dumb
Why does this idiotic tradition persist in American culture?
It’s that time of year again. Or maybe, it’s always that time of year, depending on where you live. As the Fourth of July approaches, however, the prevalence of people getting together in groups to blow things up for fun increases exponentially in America.
I’ll get directly to the point. There is very little that competes with America’s fascination with fireworks for the dumbest of leisure activities. I honestly can’t think of anything off the top of my head that surmounts it: standing slack-jawed, staring up at the sky, and sighing with awestruck wonder at loud noises and bright colors flashing. In this moment, you might as well be the kid in the kindergarten class that the others try to avoid, the one that sits and laughs while putting glue in their hair and chomping mouthfuls of crayons, colorful amalgamations of dye dripping in drool from their chin.
What’s so special about fireworks? How has this tradition lasted all these years? This blatant glorification of war? This unapologetic celebration of violence and aggression? This vapid attempt at recapturing the “rocket’s red glare” of our nationalistic anthem? This cacophonous event that triggers countless bouts of PTSD in our wartime veterans, while simultaneously sending household pets scurrying under the…
